the quest to find the perfect grocery store continues.
i tried another store last week, “foods co”, which is a kroger brand. i got a little too excited because kroger is FAMILIAR and i NEED familiar.
well, upon walking in and wondering around, foods co is NOT a winner. it’s not even a competitor. it was like a discount Kroger type store? maybe? i’m not sure? not that i have any qualms with discount stores, but i NEED a deli counter. i like freshly shaved deli meat and that may be my grandma coming out in me, but it just tastes better. and “foods co” had no deli counter, no meat counter, and it was also kinda dark. and, of course, i forgot my reusable bags. and, of course, they were $.15 at the “discount store”. something just isn’t adding up here. good thing i only needed two, or i woulda gone broke.

at this point i’m doing the majority of my shopping at trader joe’s and walmart neighborhood market.
i love tj’s because i can pick up fresh flowers and vanilla joe-joe’s and the produce is usually the best. but can we talk about their miniature buggy’s? no, not the kid sized ones. the actual buggy’s they have for adults. they are not enough for a mother with two kids that needs ALL THE THINGS. presley has to sit in the basket part, and she is always complaining because the milk is touching her or  she’s kicking the bejesus out of the kettle corn. or she’s standing up saying “i’m so stuck in here!” 🙄
i also have major issues with the fact that there is ONE SINGLE BUGGY RETURN in the whole parking lot. and it’s in the very back. literally next to the street. i am very very passionate about returning my buggies to the return and i will give some major side eyes to all the lazy people who don’t use them. you just walked for 30 whole minutes around the grocery store with your sweet little buggy, but suddenly when you get to the parking lot it’s like you’re disgusted by its capabilities and you must dump it as quickly as possible. propping it’s wheels onto a nearby curb??? people! it takes like 20 seconds at most. unless you’re at the trader joe’s in bakersfield. then it takes 500 minutes to walk to the back of the parking lot or back up to the front of the store with a baby on your hip and a death grip on your running toddlers arm/shirt collar (“mom! i’m choking”!) to return it, BUT I DO IT because i have a soul.
whew. that went in a direction i wasn’t anticipating.

there is an empty lot across the street from our neighborhood and i’m really hoping it becomes an acceptable grocery store. it’ll never be an heb, which is disheartening, but i’m hoping for a legit kroger at least. but, just in case, if anyone happens to see scott mcclelland, tell him to call me, ok?
and if anyone is wants to mail me some heb staples including, but not limited to, the bare bread (it’s crustless and it has like a six month shelf life and it makes the perfect pbj’s and grilled cheeses for my kids), and the heb brand jalapeño chips... well, i’d be really really happy.

moving on from grocery store business, a lot of people have asked literally not one person has asked, but my bottom is still bruised. i haven’t fallen again, so that’s a step (get it) in the right direction.

and just for fun, here’s a list i’ve been keeping mentally.

bakersfield cons.

• no local channels on directvnow. except cbs. but i’m not my parents and don’t watch any of those terrible crime shows. so this does me no good. i just want to watch the olympics with the rest of the world. 
• it’s not texas.
• grocery stores suck.
• where is an ikea?
• i miss my family.
• the air quality is terrible.
• i need TEXmex. 

bakersfield pros. 

• the weather is amazing. for now. 
• the sunsets are the most beautiful.
• i can see mountains from my kitchen window when the air quality is good, so like once a month.
• target is like, 6 minutes away, door to door.

so i’ll keep this list running. can’t believe it’s almost been a month since we moved here!

also, i’m going to get this out, because i haven’t told anyone yet and i need to let my secret breathe....
i cried watching kylie jenner’s baby video. not just teary-eyed... like, full on crying. i don’t even keep up with the kardashians or follow them on instagram, but i got sucked into the video somehow and i cried like she was my sister. i am going to blame this on “being a mom”. and if you’re judging me right now, i don’t even blame you, just please don’t tell me 🙈

super bowl sunday and regular monday.

over here in the pacific time zone, the game started at 3:30 (stupid!)... so, surprise! i didn’t watch it. i was too busy cooking, feeding the kids, and cleaning up the aftermath in my kitchen. i did, however, lean my head in that direction to see JT perform. i was really hoping for an *nsync reunion, so imagine my disappointment. 

forget what i said about the super bowl starting at 3. i changed my mind(and i’ll give bakersfield it’s point back). because i was in bed at 8! i know who won, for the record i was pulling for the eagles, and i was IN BED, face washed, and tylenol pm’d at EIGHT. i would have watched This Is Us with the rest of the world, but Directv Now doesn’t have local channels in bakersfield ( MINUS 1, bakersfield). 

randy had to go to houston for a short 1 night trip today. cue me freaking OUT. i hate hate hate hate staying in the house without him. i have freaked myself out so bad by watching neighborhood activity in my ring doorbell app. i’m so glad the only person who reads this blog is my sister, so no one here locally knows i’m in the house alone (with my kids!). 😂

so here i am, watching This Is Us in bed, with a box of vanilla joe-joe’s to console me. because somehow i forgot to eat dinner and this was all that i could find in the panch (what presley calls the pantry). i really love this show, even though it shatters my heart every. single. episode. it’s like the creators are sadists or something. idk. but besides the obvious that jack is everyone’s favorite character, my runner up is definitely randall’s wife, beth. i think i can relate because we are both married to a randall, but i also love her witty comebacks and side-eyes. same, girl. same. 

oh, also. mom of the year, over here. i put eli down for bed tonight and left the light on in his room. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. i felt terrible when i looked at the monitor... an hour later. 🤦🏼‍♀️ but he was so tired that he passed out somehow. i did get to see his sweet sleeping face, which might be my favorite thing. 

true story... i sometimes sneak in and take pictures of them when they’re sleeping. it’s like, no matter how crazy they made me during the day, seeing them calm and peaceful just makes all those crazy moments disappear. i forget ‘em all. 

why i hate two story houses.

i spent half of my childhood growing up in a two story home.
the summer before 6th grade my parents bought a two story house. i was pretty excited at the time, because i didn’t know any better. also because MY room in our old house was the old “storage room” that my dad had converted to a bedroom by building a closet and a wall. it was approximately the size of a shoebox (a toddler shoe box), and my new room was HUGE.
but with an upstairs room, came something i hadn’t quite conquered (or you wouldn’t think i had, judging by the number of times i fell down them)... STAIRS.
my mom used to get so mad at me for coming down the stairs in shoes that weren’t tied or (years later), strappy heels that weren’t strapped. i can’t even begin to count the number of times i fell down those stairs. it’s honestly astonishing that i never hurt myself.
the ONLY good thing about the stairs at my parents home is that they have a landing in the middle that breaks them up, so it’s not one straight shot if you do fall. the most stairs you could fall down is like 6.
fast forward to having kids and house hunting. a one story house was a MUST when we were house hunting in the woodlands. my pretty little daughter might be the clumsiest thing you’ve ever met and i just wasn’t going to take the risk of adding that obstacle in her life 😂. sweet thing walks into walls like it’s her j-o-b... never looking where she’s going. needless to say, we found our one story, and it was great.
fast forward again to house hunting in bakersfield. our choices were feeeewwww and far between. the one story homes we found were either in dire need for updating, too small, or too expensive. so here we are... living in a two story house.
it’s a beautiful brand new home. and i’ve been on pins and needles waiting for the first fall. i just had knots in my stomach thinking about my kids falling down those steps. presley actually is really good about holding the hand rails, and eli never climbs up or down alone. but you turn your attention to something for one minute and you never know what could happen.

and it did happen.






except, it wasn’t one of my kids.





it was me.




i fell down the stairs.





stop laughing.




i really hurt myself good. i was carrying eli, walking down the stairs, and my foot slipped right from underneath me and i landed really really hard on my back. my head flew back and hit the edge of a step and we slid down to the bottom. eli started crying, so i was sure we were both really hurt. i was carrying him on my hip and his left leg was behind me.
i was finally able to get us up, and, praise God, we are both ok.

4 hours later i’ve got the nastiest purple, red, and black bruise on my back left cheek, and my head is still throbbing. i was dizzy when i first stood up after falling, but it subsided pretty quick, and now it’s just a bad headache.

eli is fine, he was up running around in no time. i think it just really scared him. this whole thing could’ve been so much worse. i’m so thankful it wasn’t!

so, i’m basically a mess. welcome to my two story life.  💁🏼‍♀️

sunday night ramblings

nothing much to share today, but i need something to do before i fall asleep... so here goes.

1. i tried out a new grocery store, vons. it’s the same as randall’s in houston or tom thumb in dallas. and i had high hopes. i saw in my sales papers that lunchables were on sale for 88 cents! 💁🏼‍♀️
vons is actually the closest grocery store to my house so i made a special trip for lunchables.
but....of course. they weren’t sold out of 88 cent lunchables. no. that would be terrible luck. no, no, they just don’t SELL LUNCHABLES IN THAT VONS. is this real life?! what kind of town am i living in that grocery stores don’t sell lunchables? AHEM, lunchables that are ADVERTISED as on sale in the sales papers! 😡

2. speaking of groceries, milk here costs like $3.50/gallon. coincidentally about the same price as a gallon of gas. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

3. i still haven’t remembered to bring my reusable bags to the grocery store one time.

randy and i took the kids to the park in our neighborhood yesterday and they LOVED it. they wore themselves out running and climbing. i see many more trips there in the next couple years!

yes, that boy up there is eli. i know it’s hard to recognize him without that fuzz sticking up all over his head 😭 randy took him for his first barbershop visit, and now he looks like a BOY and not my baby! 

today we tried out another church, had a diner breakfast, and cleaned out/organized the garage! if all goes well, this will be the first house we will actually be able to park both cars in! 🙌🏼

also... sorry, not sorry, that every picture of my kids they have dirty faces. 🤷🏼‍♀️ just that season of life. 

when you realize you aren’t in texas anymore.

i know i would hit me eventually... but i didn’t know when or where.

i found a walmart neighborhood market about 5 minutes from my house, and i decided to take the kids for a little grocery shopping. all went well, until it comes time to checkout and i forgot my reusable bags... again. now, you might think this might be the “a-ha moment”, when it really hit me that i wasn’t in texas anymore... but i do recall a time when we were living in dallas that they decided to give the ol “charge-ten-cents-for-every-plastic-grocery-bag-you-use” law a try. if i remember right, it didn’t stick, but that’s beside the point. i only had 2 bags full of groceries, so 20¢ ain’t no thang.

anyway, after grocery shopping with my two perfect and well behaved children, momma needed a coke zero (my only vice. ok, maybe not my only vice. but, BY FAR, my biggest.), so off to sonic we went. and since it was lunchtime, i thought i’d go ahead and grab that, too. and y’all, that’s when it happened. i really wasn’t feeling anything on the menu at this point (*side note- why did they take frito pies away?! 😩), but  i just went with the #11 chicken strip dinner because it’s never let me down, and also, that single onion ring just gets me every time.

so the girl brings out my order and asks if i want sauce... “ketchup, please!”
“that’s the only sauce i didn’t bring out, let me go grab you some!”

ok, that’s fishy. but whatever. ketchup is like condiment #1 as far as i’m concerned, maybe californians aren’t as into it. i’ll let it slide. (and no, this isn’t the moment either.)

so then i realize presley’s drink is wrong, and also i need some gravy for my tenders.
“also, this was supposed to be a lemonade, and can i please get some gravy?”




.......







and then... the words that keep ringing in my ears....
“gravy?! we don’t have gravy, lady. they took that off the menu a long time ago!”

i was honestly at a loss for words.
“what?? no gravy? that’s crazy! i’m from texas, we always have gravy! lots of gravy! i just moved here and i didn’t realize... oh wow. ok...”

then she laughed and started to walk away. and then she whipped back around and said, “what made you want to move HERE?” with the nastiest look on her face.

in that moment i just felt lik screaming, “i know right?! this place doesn’t even have GRAVY for goodness sake!”

but i didn’t. i just laughed. and died a little on the inside.
and then i had to eat my sweet little tenders with ketchup. which is fine. it’s all fine. good. great. totally fine. #imisstexas

oh, and also...

never in my life did i think i’d be able to see mountains from my kitchen window! #definitelynotintexasanymore

these were taken in my neighborhood 😍😍😍

sunday, sunday

a LOT has changed in 7 days.

my house is no longer being considered for an episode of hoarders.
don’t get me wrong, it’s still a mess (as am i), but everything is mostly where it should be.
i am hoping to get everything how i want it before we have our next house guests (my parents!) at the end of February... and also so i can get pictures to show y’all!

i have to say, today was the first day since September that actually felt normal for us as a family.
we all woke up under the roof of our own home, we went to church, watched football, and i even cooked dinner 💁🏼‍♀️ we were just all together, and it wasn’t anything special... but it was actually really special at the same time.
it was a good, good day.

my favorite thing that happened today was when we picked eli up from the nursery at church.
we walked in and where was eli? was he playing? no. was his teacher holding him? nope.
picture the smallest couch you’ve ever seen... now picture my kid relaxing across it like he just got home from a long day of work... with a paci in his mouth, and leftover goldfish laying on his pants.
i’m dying just remembering it, and i’m kicking myself so hard for not taking a picture.
randy compared the look to the one and only al bundy. spot on.

anyway. that’s all i’ve got for now. i’ve got to continue my normalcy and finish this episode of black mirror on the couch with randy!

oh! and you’re welcome for these pictures of my perfectly crazy, messy faced kids. 

we made it...

...but it wasn’t easy.

y’all. i’ve officially been awake since 2:30am california time, and it’s creeping up on 11pm. yikes. whatever the word is that means more exhausted than exhausted, i’m that... i’m just too exhausted to think of it.

3.5 hour plane rides are about 2.5 hours more than i can handle. throw in the crankiest threenager, and a baby who can’t hold his bowels, and, well... ugh.
presley was actually pretty well behaved, considering we woke her up at 4:30am. she threw a feeeeww little fits (her bow fell off, she dropped her peanuts, her seat belt was too tight, her brother touched her headphones, etc etc.), but ended up falling asleep for a good 45 min.
eli... well let me just start with a reminder that his eyes were swollen and full of nasty green oozy fluid. and he is hardly able to breathe through his nose, for like the 3rd straight MONTH. but in true Eli fashion, he was the happiest baby you’d ever seen ( even through the 3 poops, 2 of which exploded all over him AND  my sister (TWO! she got bombed twice!... bless her.)). he was a complete wiggle worm then entire trip, but somehow we kept him occupied.
after we made it off the plane, we waited on the world’s longest shuttle (congrats, budget rental car, for that terrible accolade), and finally got our four pieces of luggage, giant double stroller, two huge car seats, diaper bag, purses, and babies outta there.
our two hour drive to bakersfield was nice... driving through the mountains just puts me in awe. God, y’all. he made those!
anyway, we made it to our new home and walking in felt like i was on an episode of hoarders. you see, when the movers unpack for us, they just unpack. they don’t put away. they unpack to whatever surface is near... whether it be the floor, table, counter, or whatever. so basically everything we own is sitting on a surface somewhere in this house. just imagine everything single item in your kitchen... every fork, bowl, cereal box, spice, straw, pot, cake pan, toothpick, dishwasher pod, trash bag, every. single. item. sitting on your kitchen counters, island, table, window sill, floor. and then think about every other room and all of those items. oh and also! sometimes(a lot of times) those items are not even in the correct room.... think highchair legs(not the rest, just the legs) in Presley’s room, or christmas wrapping paper in Eli’s room. what’s the word for beyond overwhelmed? yeah, i’m that. times infinity.
but my sister is here! and i mostly wanted to write this update to let the world know that today would have been impossible without her. really really impossible. she saved me. and my kids. and i would be a mess without her. except i’m already a mess. but i’d probably be in the fetal position rocking back and forth somewhere in LAX airport if it wasn’t for her. she is THE best.

that’s all i can manage tonight.  please keep praying for us... because Lord knows we need it.
feels good to be back under the same roof with my husband and our babies tonight, all together, at last.